Last night Philip, our 2 year old son, had trouble falling asleep; so he brought his blankets and lovies with him into the living room and asked if I would rock him. How could I say "no" to that? So I gathered him up as well as all his soft things into my arms and rocked him. He fell asleep within 5 minutes but I held onto him for much longer staring at his sleeping face and his little hands and long fingers.
It wasn't until I became a parent that I experienced the indescribable gift and blessing of a child. He's my son. I don't deserve him. Although he can drive me crazy at times and will do things to spite me, he is my great reward. Solomon says this in Psalm 127:3, "Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, the fruit of the womb a reward."
Reflecting on this last night brought to mind another son I didn't deserve. "For God so loved the world (which includes me and you!), that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life" (John 3:16). "For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. For one will scarcely die for a righteous person – though perhaps for a good person one would dare even to die – but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us" (Rom. 5:6-8). "This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins" (1 John 4:10).
I am constantly reminded when I look at my son the great sacrifice God made so that we might find forgiveness of sins and reconciliation with Him, our Creator through the Son of God, Jesus Christ our Lord. Just like I don't deserve my son Philip, I don't deserve what God's Son did for me on a cross. Just like Philip is my great reward, even more so and greater is the reward I have in Jesus Christ.
I cannot imagine giving Philip up for anyone in this world. I simply would not. In fact, I would give myself up before giving him. So the truth that "God so loved us, the world, that he gave his Son" blows my mind. It's an even greater love than I know personally through being a wife and a mom. It's a sacrificial love. And it's a love that Scripture tells us that Jesus agreed to as well. Philippians 2 says that Jesus humbled himself by leaving the throne room of heaven to become man so that "for our sake" he would be made "to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God" (2 Cor. 5:21).
Christians have used this time of Lent historically as a time of preparation for Easter. We remember our sins that cost Jesus Christ his life; we repent and reconcile with our brothers and sisters; we spend time in reflection and meditation on Scripture; and we fast. God has given me a gift in Philip for many reasons too numerous to list here. But one of the best gifts is that Philip serves as a daily reminder to me of God's sacrificial love in sending his Son for me as a propitiation for my sins.
I have been given the gifts of two sons: One who died for my sins and who is the Son of God and one who I get to hold and comfort in my arms at night. During Lent I want to encourage parents and non-parents alike to reflect with me on God's Son, on our sins which he came to take away, and on the great, sacrificial love of God.
I want to mention that I was honored to write a blog post for Mommybites.com, which will eventually also be featured on Happy Family's website, that went live today. I don't write much on the topic of motherhood, so it was a joy and a challenge to reflect on something deeply personal and to share it with the world. It was in writing the blog post for Mommybites and reading a post by my very good friend, Leslie Ann, called 5 Things Parenting Taught Me About God, that encouraged me to reflect on my own experience as a mom and what God is teaching me about Himself through this experience.